Posts by Kyle Courtaway

One of the programs I teach on having difficult conversations asks individuals to think about how they got their way as a child. The responses are telling. You can imagine the range—from throwing a tantrum to wearing parents down with persistence, or even invoking fairness by saying, “X got to do this, why didn’t I?”…

We’ve explored how defensiveness hijacks our internal dialogue and how control can quietly close off connection. But there’s a third force—quieter still, yet just as disruptive: avoidance. Avoidance doesn’t raise its voice. It doesn’t make a scene. In fact, it often disguises itself as patience, professionalism, or keeping the peace. Especially in organizations that prize…

I’ve been playing guitar for over 30 years, but recently I went back to taking lessons—to challenge myself and to reconnect with the basics through a fresh lens. Not long ago, my teacher stopped me mid-song and said, “You’re gripping the neck way too tightly.” I hadn’t even realized it. What I thought was focus…

Leadership is a constant balancing act. We want results, we need accountability, but we also know that people don’t operate in a vacuum. We recently introduced a framework for understanding behavioral influences to a group of plant supervisors, the reaction was immediate: “If we start looking at all these factors, aren’t we just making excuses…